The cold air conditioned operating room greeted Tom as he walked in, fully scrubbed. The dim room with depressing green curtains and robes made almost every person in the room look alike, but it was clear who was in charge. The patient was laying face down, unconscious, oblivious. A doctor whose name Tom did not know approached Tom. He began telling Tom all the details regarding the case. Tom didn’t want to listen, he just wanted to get it over with. Two surgeries in one day, a third one at 2 in the night, the world seemed to be going mad. Tom had had a pretty tiring day, after all, spinal surgeries aren’t a piece of cake. But Tom knew what he was doing all the time; he had steady hands, and one really sharp brain to create a life-saving, money minting pair. As soon as the unnamed doctor finished briefing Tom-Tom had only one thing to say:


“Shall we begin?”


It was a gruelling task, a good two hours minimum, if all went well. But of course, there were so many factors which the “well” depended on. But Tom didn’t care. To him, this was just another human life to be saved, after all, he had signed up for this just to save lives, and saving lives doesn’t come with fixed working hours. He knew the deal, he took it. But what most forget to fathom-the mind does not always have power over the body. True, will is there, but there’s only so much will can do. Tom learnt the lesson the hard way. He willed himself to operate tirelessly, but his body needed the rest. It was about an hour and a half into the surgery that his body made him realise his mistake. One twitch that was all it took to stop Tom’s heart for a whole second. One twitch, that was enough to almost guarantee that the sleeping patient would not move another muscle forever. Nobody noticed, but Tom’s trained mind did. A first bead of sweat escaped Tom’s clean white forehead, despite the air conditioning. He did finish the surgery. There was no way of knowing the after effects till they came. That’s a sad fact of life. It was a gruelling 45 minutes more before he could disrobe himself, and he made sure that he would be most slow, careful and vigilant. But milk, once spilt, cannot be poured back into the glass. He didn’t wait to talk to the spitting doctors. He immediately went to the surprisingly empty doctor’s lounge; there was always someone there either taking a break from an operation, or finding an excuse to stay away from home. But on that day, the lounge was empty. Tom slumped onto the leather couch, ready to ponder, ready to let his thoughts plot its own course within his conscience.


Tom just sat in the dark lounge, without turning on a single light or fan. He just sat in the eerie solitude. He hadn’t even known the patient. He had just seen the patient lying upside down. He had just seen the open back of his patient. He still didn’t know if his patient was under-age or an adult, he didn’t know his patient’s name, he didn’t know what he had cost his patient due to his tiresome body. He berated himself for not allowing himself some rest. He berated himself for thinking he could save everybody. But the fact that hit him the most was he had almost certainly ruined the life of someone who didn’t even know he existed. A saviour causing pain. He suddenly lost all emotional feeling, he felt numb inside. He didn’t know what to feel. He picked up his phone, opened his contacts list. Jack Walcott, there it was. It was strange that despite the fact that Tom had called Jack, his best friend, at least a thousand times, he still didn’t know the number by heart. He pressed the green button, and put the receiver to his ear. Each ring took longer than the previous. It seemed after an eternity that the ringing stopped, and was answered by a groggy voice.


“Yeah, what happened?”


Tom hesitated; he didn’t know what to say.
“Tom, you there?” came another question from the other end.
“I’ll call you later, sorry”, said Tom. He hung up. He didn’t know what to say.
He turned his phone off, he didn’t want to answer a call he was certain he would receive from Jack. He got up to leave the lounge; he just wanted to leave the empty room. On his way out, he stopped in front of a mirror. There was barely any light. He flicked the switch on, and was surprised at this reflection. The mirror showed a tall man, decently built, but with sunken green eyes, shadow of a beard, unkempt blonde hair, and an expression that said “I need a break from life”. Tom didn’t think anything. He turned the switch off. Darkness flooded the room once again, but Tom opened the door and left the empty darkness behind. The corridor ahead was quiet. Tom walked, not knowing where. He just wanted to do something, maybe then he would start feeling something. He reached the stairs. He chose to go down. The staircase was dark. He felt as if the whole world was sleeping, and only he was awake. He reached the ground floor, and looked around. He saw a couple of sleeping people, probably relatives of patients in the ICU or Post Op ward. Tom kept walking forward, absent minded, drowning in his own mind, hoping to catch a glimmer of feeling.


“Hello Dr.Thomas, I didn’t know you were still here. Would you like a cup of coffee?”


Tom turned around. It was Maria, the good natured receptionist, who almost always had the night duty. All she had to do was watch soap operas on the insanely small TV of hers, unless of course, on the rare occasion of a case walking in late at night.


“No thanks Maria”, said Tom, with a difficult smile. Maria gave a shrug and she promptly got back to her TV. It must’ve been on mute, no sound was coming from it. Tom looked at Maria once again.


“Actually, can you help me out? I operated on a patient just now; can you give me her whole file?”


Maria nodded, her chubby good natured face showing no irritation. Tom walked up to the reception.
“You look terrible doctor. No sleep?”
“You too noticed eh?Yeah,no sleep.”
Maria nodded again, as she searched her database. She opened a drawer below the table, and immediately pulled out a thin yellow file. It seemed too thin, not too much info. Tom smiled, took the file.
“I won’t be long”
He went back to the lounge, this time on the elevator. He immediately turned the fans and lights on. He took a seat on the couch once again, and opened the file. The first thing he noticed was the patient’s photo. It was a girl. She had long brown hair, thin yet beautiful eyebrows, blue and expressive eyes, and pink lips. She looked incredibly pretty, but there was something extremely pained in her eyes. She looked as if she were silently begging the viewer to save her.
“I was supposed to save her, but I gave her another reason to be saved from”, thought Tom sorrowfully. He looked to the right of the picture.


Name-Juliet Brooks
Age-25
Ethnicity-Caucasian
that was all that was in the file. He turned the page.
“Previous medical history unknown”
He turned the page.
“Case History: Patient involved in a drunk and drive accident. Major concussion, fractured right leg, shard penetration in the spine, no consciousness.”


He had operated on her spine, he had removed 3 glass shards, and it was during the 4th one that his hand twitched. He suddenly went back, in his mind, to the Operating Room. He didn’t remember a patient with long brown hair. All he saw was a thin patient with boy-cut hair. He hadn’t even seen her face. He turned the file for more info, but that was all. No medical history, no home address, nothing.He got up from the lounge, and went back down to the reception, this time by the stairs. He went straight to the reception. He placed the file on the table, and cleared his throat; Maria was too engrossed on her mysteriously soundless TV show.


“Oh Dr Thomas, I hope the file was of help.”
Tom looked at the file again, and without looking up, he said,
“How was she brought in? I mean, the patient, how was she brought in?”
Maria looked puzzled.
“What do you mean doctor?”
Tom was getting irritated suddenly.
“Was she driven her? Was she in an ambulance?”
Maria gave a relieved expression.
“Hose was brought in by the Emergency Services Ambulance. We were the nearest hospital, so they brought her here.”
Tom was even more curious.
“Did they find anything on her? Wallet? Address? Anything?”
“They did find a wallet, but it had just a few dollars and a hospital bill from Gonzales Memorial. No address, no cards, no photos, nothing. We got her old picture and age from Gonsalves, they faxed it in. No history is known. She apparently went to consult a gynaecologist. Routine pregnancy check is what they said. They didn’t add it to her file ‘cuss apparently she didn’t have the cash to pay for the treatment”
Tom asked,” Has anyone tried to contact her yet?”
“No doctor.Say,why are you so interested?”
“I have my reasons. Is there any way someone can be intimated regarding her condition?”
Maria gave an expression of deep thought.
“She was brought in wearing a waitress’ uniform; maybe it has an id card. Want me to check?”


Tom nodded. Maria got out of the reception area and went into a small back door. Tom was temporarily left alone in thought. Was she poor? Could she pay for this? Did she have anyone? Those were one of the many questions running within Tom’s head. Tom just wanted some reason to calm himself, he didn’t know what. Maybe the fact that Juliet had some family or maybe the fact that she could be okay the next day….but Tom wasn’t kidding him. He wanted to, but he didn’t. Maria returned with a badge.


“RodoShack Diner”
Maria gave the badge to Tom.
“It’s a diner, about a couple of blocks from here, doctor.There was nothing else.”
Tom nodded his thanks, and walked back up to the lounge. He sat slowly on the couch. Juliet was a 25 year old waitress, working hard to make ends meet, and he had just ruined everything for her. He wanted to cry, or shout, or even laugh, but the blank feeling was killing him. He put the badge in his pocket, and sat without any thought, until his body took over and lulled him into a sleep.


“Tom? Tom? Tom? You okay? Wake up!”
Tom heard these words as echoes in an eternally long corridor. He suddenly woke up, and for a moment, he felt hopeful. Maybe the operation was a dream. But he felt a small weight in his chest pocket. It was the badge. Everything was real. He looked up at the source of the voice. It was Jack.
“Jesus Christ, I was worried Tom. What happened?”
 
Tom looked at his watch.8:30 am it showed. He immediately got up and rushed out the lounge, leaving Jack behind with a puzzled gaze. The anaesthesia would have worn off. Tom would know if Juliet was okay or not. He ran down to the first floor, the Post Op Ward. The nurse knew him, she flashed a smile, but he couldn’t recall her name. He just smiled back and rushed in. He looked at the patient bed list. Juliet Brooks, bed 26.Tom walked briskly to the end of the dark passageway. Bed 26.He saw her for the first time, face looking sunken and tired, eyes closed. Maybe she was asleep. He saw a nurse two bed’s away. He signalled her. She came to him.
“What’s this patient’s condition?”
 
The nurse consulted her charts.
 
“Patient’s anaesthesia wore off at 6:55 today morning, but she has not responded to external stimuli. All her metabolic functions seem to be working properly. Suspected paralysis.”
Tom did not take his eyes off Juliet’s tired face, serenely asleep. He nodded his thanks. The nurse left. He just stood there, looking at her, looking at the fruits of his mistake. He lost track of time. He only noticed her chest go up and down, taking in slow breaths. He felt somebody’s hand on his shoulder. He turned around, and saw Jack.
“Want to tell me what happened?”
Tom said,
“Let’s go to the cafeteria.”


Over breakfast, Tom told Jack everything-his twitch, his mistake, his emotional numbness, his guilt, his helplessness. Tom said,
“Jack, have I killed this young girl?”
Jack slowly chewed his piece of sausage. He then replied, after swallowing.
“I suppose it’s useless to tell you that things like this happen in our line of work. I mean, it could’ve happened to me too, and for all I know, it will. It just was unfortunate that a young woman fell victim to this.”
Tom looked at Jack.
‘Fell victim’? You talk as if it was an act of God or fate. It was my bloody error, and now she’s a bloody vegetable. You know, the hospital’s keeping her only ‘cus emergency services brought her in? She has no known way of paying the goddamn bills”
Jack immediately replied. 
 
“Tom you fool, you can’t play angel, not in this world. Don’t you get it? We can only be as good as the world allows us to be. Right now, the hospital’s keeping her alive; the hospital’s given her a bed. Mistakes happen, but it doesn’t mean you should take her in and live with her or anything does it?True,the hospital needs a damn profit but-”
Tom cut in.
“Profit? PROFIT? A young girl who’s whole future’s ruined is lying without any sensation in the goddamn ward, and the you’re telling me about profit?”


“Tom, I’m just telling you what the hospital wants. I know you’re bleeding. I know you want to set right to the wrong, but I can’t help you, neither can you. You can only deal with it,’ us what’s done are done. You can’t bring her back”


“Easy for you to say “what’s done is done”,  Jack.It wasn’t your scalpel that condemned a young girl to the bed”


Tom got up and started to leave.
 
“Tom,don’t do anything stupid.Tom!Tom,stay goddammit!”


Tom just went to the doors,got out,went straight to his car,and drove home.He got 7 calls from Jack,he answered none.Tom entered his home,dumped all his clothes in the washing machine,and stepped into the cold shower.He just stood there,allowing the cold water to calm him.But he wasn’t calm.The gravity of his actions began dawning on him like an avalanche on a single skier.He wanted to cry so much.It’s one thing to choke back tears,and it’s another to fight for them.He had to do something. He got out of shower,and called the hospital reception.The receptionist picked up.


“This is Dr.Tom Thomas.I need you to let me know if any visitor or enquiry is there for Post Op patient 26,Juliet Brooks.Can you do that?Page me if there is,okay?”


“Sure doctor.”


Tom lay down on his bed,his pager beside him.He placed a call to his boss,Kate Mason.
“Kate,I’m really worked up,I won’t be able to operate today,so please can you not page me for any case?”


“Sure Tom,I’ve been telling you to take a break for so long!Good for you”


“Thanks Kate”


Tom now looked at his pager.If it beeped,he’d know that Juliet had somebody.He’d feel a little reassured.So,he waited.He kept looking at the ceiling.The shadow of the window pane slowly moved from left to right,and finally vanished.Tom lay motionless,not even moving to turn the light on.It became midnight,and he lost his patience.No visitor,no call.He decided to go to RodoShack Diner and ask about Juliet,after all,she worked there.He changed immediately,not even pausing for a bite.He hadn’t eaten anything since that slight morning breakfast.For some reason,he felt this was more important.He hailed a cab,and asked him to drive to the diner.Tom paid the cabby extra,and he didn’t stop for a change,nor did he acknowledge the cabby’s grateful words.He just got out and gazed at an old but respectable diner.On the roof of the single floor building was a picture of a vinyl record,with “RodoShack Diner” written on it.Both the O’s were blinking,the rest were lit up in uniform white light.The diner was still open,to Tom’s surprise.Tom walked in to find a thin balding man idly wiping washed plates.His eyes lit up when he saw Tom walk in,nobody hated a customer after all.
 
“We got hot bacon sir,and fresh chicken sandwiches,grilled if you want it that way.Want me to knock ‘em up for you sir?”
Tom nodded.He waited for the thin man to return.The man did return.
“We don’t see many people here at this time,most come in the morning.I’m Jim by the way sir”
“I’m Tom”
“Well,nice to meet ya Tom, another night without business and I swear I would’ve got the sack, we all would have. Of course, there ain’t much of us to say “all”, plus, Juliet that damn girl’s gone missing. Lemme go get you some coffee sir”
“Wait Jim.Juliet isn’t missing, she’s in the DCC General. She met with an accident,I’m her doctor.I actually came to ask you about her only”
Jim’s eyes darkened,he was genuinely worried.
“Is she gonna be alright sir?”
“We’ll get to that in a bit.But it’s important that you tell me about her Jim,it may help us help her.”
Jim pulled up another chair and sat opposite Tom.
“What do you wanna know about Juliet sir?Just tell me she’ll be okay,I’ll do anything”
“First tell me,does she have family?”
“None that I know of sir.All i know is,about three years ago,she came knockin’ on this doorstep.I knew the very moment I set eyes on her that she had no cash on her,but she seemed like one really hungry girl,plus I have a daughter her age,so I pitied her and I let her stay.She never told me about any family.But she proved herself useful,she quickly learnt to wash the dishes,keep the place clean.She began helpin’ me out a lot.I even taught her to cook a lil’ somethin’.Then,Big Arthur,the owner of this joint,found out about her,and he took her with him to his house.She did come to work every day,but she slowly began to lose whatever little cheer she had.There were rumours tha Arthur was screwin’ her,but what can I do sir?I have three mouths to feed,and two young girls to fend for,I couldn’t raise a voice against Arthur.”
Tom remembered the Gonsalves Memorial report of Juliet’s visit to a gynaecologist.Maybe she was being taken advantage of every night.
“Tell me sir,is Juliet gonna be okay?”
“Jim,Juliet met with an accident.She’s paralysed now,and she’ll stay that way.No one’s visited her,and this diner’s badge was all I had from her,so I came.Jim,she needs someone to watch over her all the time,the hospital will keep her only for so long.Can you take her in Jim?”
“I would like to sir,believe me,I would,but then I’d have to starve my own daughters..but sir,please don’t let Arthur know about Juliet.Arthur thinks she ran away,best leave it at that.Let the poor girl be alone.”
 
Tom nodded.He took 50 dollars from his wallet,placed it on the table,and got up.
 
“Goodnight Jim”
 
“Juliet’s a nice girl sir,please don’t let her go to ruins.”
 
Tom thought to himself,”I already have”.


Tom was greeted by a surprising sight when he reached home.Jack was standing outside his door.
“You ignore my calls for a whole day,Christ,I was worried you’d done something stupid like resign or something.”
“C’mon in Jack.”
“Now, before you ask, Tom, she’s still in the same condition,and we did run scans and tests. There’s no way she’s gonna recover. She’ll remain in her current state till death. I suggested that we euthanise her to Kate, she was against it. She doesn’t wanna spend hospital fund on a plea for euthanasia."

Tom remained silent.Then he finally said,
 
“That girl’s been through so much Jack.Did I add another thorn to her wound?”
“Are you insane Tom?You’re acting like an emotional fool for Pete’s sakes.Can’t you realise that you made a damn mistake?Okay,the girl’s paralysed,you can’t do anything about it can ya?Look,if the girl were alright and about to make a recovery,even if she didn’t pay,we’d have her out of our asses,but since she’s paralysed,we’re stuck with her,or rather,the hospital is.The hospital will find some way to dispose of her,and you’ll be free of her,I’ll make sure of that.”

“ARE YOU SO DAMN INSENSITIVE?I CAN’T FORGIVE MYSELF FOR WHAT I’VE DONE,AND YOU THINK I WANT HER DISPOSED?...I thought you could understand me Jack,I thought you would,after all these years.”
“No Tom, I don’t understand you one bit. You think you can be a saint and save everybody, you’re gonna get more people, including yourself killed!! And the hospital is behind my ass to get you under control, so that we can dispose of the girl and have the bed free for a patient who can pay the damn bills.”
Tom looked at Jack with disgust.
“So, the hospital’s behind you to convince me to help the hospital “dispose” of the girl? I didn’t know you were that selfish Jack. What happened to the Jack who talked hours and hours with me about God’s mercy and goodness?”

“That Jack who talked to you was the Jack who liked to dream.This is the real me,Tom.And I don’t wanna tell you what you wanna hear,I will tell you what’s real, because you need to do what’s best for the hospital,for me and for you.”
Tom gave a cold stare to Jack.
“Get the hell out of my house”
“Tom,listen to me.I know you blame yourself.I know what you feel. I -”
“How dare you say you know what I feel after all you’ve said?”
“Just listen for a minute Tom. I know you feel miserable, and judging from what you’ve told me, the girl has nobody to fend for her, she has nobody to take care of her. I think it’s best for her,as well as the hospital, if she is silently put to sleep. There’s a nurse shift change at 7pm every evening, I’ll arrange for the medicine cabinet to remain unlocked just tomorrow. Do the right thing Tom. Look,I’m asking you to do this because I’m up for promotion. Tom, I’ll soon be one of the Board members, don’t you get it? Since you’re my friend, they expect me to control you for Pete’s sakes, and believe me, I don’t like this either, but Board of Directors is someplace where I can make things happen, I’ll have power, and I can’t let go of this just because some penniless girl is lying paralysed,draining the hospital’s resources.”
“Then why don’t you yourself euthanise her, Jack?”
“I can’t do this because even in the remotest chance that I get caught, all that I’ve worked for is doomed.”
“So, you’d rather I take the drop? Is that all you were? Have you changed? Is power the only thing that matters? What about our friendship? What about all these years? What about your talks about heart and goodness? Were those all a facade?”
“No Tom, and let me make this clear. I say what I say and I mean it, but when it comes to lookin’ out for myself, I’ll prioritise that above all else, even if its ethics. And as for you takin’ the drop, there’s almost no possibility, and even if there is, you can resign now, then I’ll get promoted, and I’ll get you right back in, simple. Look, I haven’t changed, I’ve always looked after myself, just that in all these years, it never involved you. Now it does involve you and that girl, and believe me, buddy, I will not risk my sacrifice, I’ve given a lot for this hospital, this job, and I ask you, as an old friend, do this for me. I can’t ask anything more, it’s up to you. Like I said, the medicine cabinet. The nurse duty shift change is the best time. I’ll distract anybody who wanders close. Do it for me,and also for the girl, you know you’d be helping her.”
“DON’T YOU DARE PRETEND YOU CARE FOR HER JACK!”
“I’m not pretending anything, you’re the one making judgements,Tom. You know, all this wouldn’t have happened if you didn’t screw up”
“Yeah? Wow, you were the one saying that I was just human, and that errors happen. Now what happened? Chameleon change colours?”
“I told you that you were not at fault so that you could feel better, Tom. But now I don’t wanna tell you what you wanna hear, I wanna tell you the facts. You screwed up, it’s got me in a tough position, and I’m doing all I can to convince you to just kill the bloody girl, she has no one, no one will come looking for her, we’re all in the clear goddammit. I’VE SACRIFICED MY PERSONAL LIFE FOR THIS HOSPITAL,TOM,AND I’M NOT GONNA THROW IT AWAY ‘CUS MY ONCE BEST FRIEND STILL LIVES IN WONDERLAND AND HOPES FOR HAPPY ENDINGS. There are no happy endings.”
“Yeah, there are no happy endings Jack. And you did say one thing right. I am you “once” best friend. Get out now”
“For old times’ sake Tom,do this”
Jack waited for a reaction but got none. He eventually got up and left, leaving Tom alone, with a freight train of thoughts.


7 p.m. came faster than Tom anticipated. He walked to the post op ward. Bed 26. He looked at her sunken face, a shroud of peace over her oblivious mind. He noticed slight bed sore formation, he felt immense sorrow, sorrow beyond measure for his mistake. He sat beside her, and for the first time,he held her hands. They were rough,but warm.
“Maybe one day,we’ll meet in heaven, and you’ll ask me why I didn’t take you away. Maybe you’ll ask me why I myself didn’t take care of you, dspite having the means, I’ll have no answer for that. You have gone through more than I could imagine at such a young age, and I just added to your loneliness and misery. I sometimes wonder if my hand-twitch happened for a reason. I sometimes think that maybe this is good for you,’ because you’ll leave this suffering. But I dunno. You persevered for so long, maybe you wanted to live and see life’s store, and I would’ve asked you whether you wanted to live or die, but I know you’ll give me only silence, and I’ll have to decide for myself… Juliet, I’m sorry that your life has been so lonely. I’m sorry that I was so impersonal when I began operating on you, I’m sorry that someone so beautiful as you had to go through so much. I know that no amount of prayer will prevent my judgement, but I’ll pray every day that your soul finds peace, and I’ll pray every day that someday, somewhere, sometime, we meet, and you tell me all about yourself, because right about now, all my thoughts revolve around you. Juliet, before I take the ultimate leap of faith, I just want you to know that you’ve humbled me, I dunno how, but you’ve changed me. If they mean anything, then I’m sorry Juliet, for everything.”


He slowly went to the medicine cabinet, and took out a morphine drip bag. He replaced her glucose drip with the morphine, and increased the dosage. It was only a matter of time. He sat in painful silence. He lost track of time, but nobody came his way. Suddenly, he heard the high pitched scream of the departing soul-the flatline of the heart rate monitor. He turned it off, and replaced the glucose drip back ,but before he left, he took one last look at Juliet, and whispered to himself, "I hope you leave this mad world for a paradise.”


As Tom walked out from the Post Op ward, he saw Jack. Jack knew from Tom’s expression,that Juliet was no more. Jack gave a solemn nod to Tom. Tom didn’t even acknowledge Jack. Tom went to his car,and drove to the Holy Family Church close to his house. The priest, Father James, looked at him and said,
“You looked troubled son,can I help?”
“No Padre, I just want to pray tonight.”
“May the Lord be with you son”, said the priest, as he gave a pleasant smile and went back to the arrangement of the candles that he was engrossed in.
 
Tom sat on one of the empty benches, closed his eyes, and spoke to God.
“God, I still doubt my actions. A part of me thinks that I helped Juliet out of her misery, another part of me condemns me for not taking her in myself and having patience. I don’t know why I did what I did God, I just did them. I’m not here to ask forgiveness, God. I’m here to ask you one favour. Please take Juliet in, please don’t let her suffer, please let the poor girl be happy. And if you can God, tell me why all this is happening… God, you gave your life so that we would love each other like you loved us, you forgave us despite the gravest injustice and cruelty we committed against you, you did all this so that there would be good in this world,so that there’d be love. Now, don’t you see what’s happening? Or did you die knowing that all this would happen? Or was there another reason all together for your death? I keep wondering if my whole perception of you,and of right and wrong is upside down. I dunno. But I pray that it is not upside down, and I pray that you be with me, so that I can face tomorrow.”
 
Tom kept his eyes closed for a few more minutes, just saying prayers for Juliet. He never said a prayer for his own soul, asking forgiveness, not because he was arrogant enough to believe what he did was right, but because he left his judgement for the future, because he still could not tell if what he did was right or wrong. He still didn’t know why he listened to Jack, he still didn’t know why he didn’t take Juliet in, even though a part of him told him to care for her. He didn’t know…


Tom drove to the hospital once again,and immediately walked to Kate’s office.She was surprised to see him.
“Hello Tom, I thought you were having a couple of days off! What brings you back?”
“Kate, I’ll no longer return to work here, draft the resignation papers and send them to me, I’ll sign them as soon as I get it. You can cite the reason as health concern. And don’t bother trying to convince me otherwise Kate, my stand is final.”
“As much as it pains me to see such a wonderful surgeon leave, we can’t keep you without your
will. I’ll send the papers tomorrow morning itself.”
Kate gave a sympathetic smile, a smile which made Tom reek. He knew that she was in on all this with Jack, yet she was being diplomatic. Nothing in this world was what it seemed, everybody had another face. Tom wondered, could goodness ever exist in this world? He went to the lounge to collect his few belongings from the locker. On the way down, he stopped by the reception, and bade goodbye to Maria.


Two Years Later: 
 
Tom sat down on his sofa after a hard day’s work. Private practice wasn’t easy, but it didn’t have such grave consequences. He stayed alone in his big apartment, earning enough to last a lifetime. But he trusted nobody, Jack was his last mistake. After cooking and eating dinner alone at his table, he finished all the chores, and decided to turn in for the night. But before that, he turned his table lamp on, opened his drawer, and pulled out a diary. It was the diary in which he wrote all his feelings down in. After all, he too needed a place to vent. He loved his diary a lot, because it always listened to what he had to say, never opposing, never saying hurtful things, always knowing what was in his mind. He sometimes wished that he would receive some word of encouragement or love from the very diary he held dear, so he gave his diary an identity in his mind. He imagined his diary to be a beautiful girl, about 25 years of age, with long brown hair, thin brows, blue eyes and pink lips. He always imagined her to wear a long yellow skirt, with a blue chain around her neck, and long ear-rings. He gave her a voice, and he imagined himself talking to her, and he imagined her talking to him. To him, she was everything, and he imagined he was everything to her. He would start and end his day with this figment of his imagination, his diary. But to him, everything seemed real. He treated the girl in his mind with respect, love, and he imagined being the person who did everything to make her happy. He gave her a name too. It was the name he used to address his diary. After writing his thoughts down, he’d sit and re-read the writing, and he’d imagine speaking those words to his imaginary princess, and he’d imagine her listening and replying. It was a small indulgence, not craziness. His favourite part, however, was always the last moment he spent with her every day. His words of goodnight, and imaginary kiss, as he whispered to her ears,” Goodnight Juliet”…



                                                                                         -Achyuth Sankar


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